Well, there’s been a lot to think about since the last time I posted.
First, I got the chance to see a couple of friends for the first time since the “buzz cut” I got. Both times I chose to go with just a baseball cap, and lipstick (my DH has been wanting me to wear lipstick for a while – I figured this would be the perfect time to start). I was pleasantly surprised to get positive responses from both of them!
This was a boost to my self-esteem, since this was one of the areas that I was really concerned about as a side effect to the treatments I’m going through. So, with these reactions under my belt, I went to do some errands with a nice cap and lipstick. The reactions were interesting to say the least. They ranged from a friendly greeting (and not much else) to folks – mostly women – looking at me with either ‘poor her’ looks or not knowing what to say to me. A bit of advice – saying “Hi!” or “Hello” with a smile would be a good start!
I guess now I understand how some people with cancer have a real reluctance to going out anywhere except to their doctor and hospital appointments. There are even some folks that don’t go to visit friends and family because of both how they fear they’ll react to them OR because of the actual REAL reactions of those closest to them. My mom, sisters & mom-in-law have been really supportive. Haven’t seen most of the brother-in-laws or my brother since my diagnosis, so I don’t know what their reactions will be.
Another thing I’m pondering. I’m blessed to have a couple of wigs and a surprise gift of a scarf (thanks, R.!), and some family and friends are offering to help out on that end. I’m beginning to think that the head coverings are more for the people we deal with than for ourselves. Putting them on will make you look nice (and some make you look REALLY nice!), but they’re HOT as anything! When you’re going through ‘changes’ already, you don’t need anything making you hotter! But when you go out with just a cap and your micro-cut or beautiful bald self, you better have a healthy dose of confidence to go with it, because you’ll get all kinds of looks. Sheesh!
So if you catch me not showing up at church or visiting folks
– just make sure it’s not because of me throwing a pity party, ok? On your end, just treat me or anyone with a drastic change of appearance – including people with physical challenges – like you would treat a friend. You have no idea how much we’ll appreciate it.
I’ll actually be posting a second, and shorter, post later this afternoon. Feel free
to write your reactions and responses to any of my posts here. I promise to read
every one.
Stay vertical!
First, I got the chance to see a couple of friends for the first time since the “buzz cut” I got. Both times I chose to go with just a baseball cap, and lipstick (my DH has been wanting me to wear lipstick for a while – I figured this would be the perfect time to start). I was pleasantly surprised to get positive responses from both of them!
This was a boost to my self-esteem, since this was one of the areas that I was really concerned about as a side effect to the treatments I’m going through. So, with these reactions under my belt, I went to do some errands with a nice cap and lipstick. The reactions were interesting to say the least. They ranged from a friendly greeting (and not much else) to folks – mostly women – looking at me with either ‘poor her’ looks or not knowing what to say to me. A bit of advice – saying “Hi!” or “Hello” with a smile would be a good start!
I guess now I understand how some people with cancer have a real reluctance to going out anywhere except to their doctor and hospital appointments. There are even some folks that don’t go to visit friends and family because of both how they fear they’ll react to them OR because of the actual REAL reactions of those closest to them. My mom, sisters & mom-in-law have been really supportive. Haven’t seen most of the brother-in-laws or my brother since my diagnosis, so I don’t know what their reactions will be.
Another thing I’m pondering. I’m blessed to have a couple of wigs and a surprise gift of a scarf (thanks, R.!), and some family and friends are offering to help out on that end. I’m beginning to think that the head coverings are more for the people we deal with than for ourselves. Putting them on will make you look nice (and some make you look REALLY nice!), but they’re HOT as anything! When you’re going through ‘changes’ already, you don’t need anything making you hotter! But when you go out with just a cap and your micro-cut or beautiful bald self, you better have a healthy dose of confidence to go with it, because you’ll get all kinds of looks. Sheesh!
So if you catch me not showing up at church or visiting folks
– just make sure it’s not because of me throwing a pity party, ok? On your end, just treat me or anyone with a drastic change of appearance – including people with physical challenges – like you would treat a friend. You have no idea how much we’ll appreciate it.
I’ll actually be posting a second, and shorter, post later this afternoon. Feel free
to write your reactions and responses to any of my posts here. I promise to read
every one.
Stay vertical!
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